This is meant to be a funny feature, but at the same time its trying to convey a message across the world. I know its not the usual wormsmart computing related stuff, but its playing a big part here. We'd all be screwed if the internet run off of petrol?!

Its been a funny old day or two. For those of you who live outside the UK, you may not be aware that there is currently a Fuel Crisis in the UK and that because we pay the equivalent of $1.30 per litre of petrol (around 80p) that we have just had enough in the old UK.

It started a couple of days ago when it was announced that petrol tankers were going to be boycotted and have their access to petrol stations across the UK restricted thus causing the stations to run out of petrol and try and force our quite daft government to reduce the price of petrol before they would ease up. This as you can imagine led to a frenzied panic as millions of insane car owners swamped the petrol stations in fear of never having petrol in their cars again.

Well, it seems to be working to a point. All the hauliers and farmers are out in the roads driving at 2mph causing as much problems as they can and this is causing some serious delays, my usual 4 mile journey to work today took 3 and a half hours longer, and several staff at my work were delayed by up to 5 hours. And as petrol in the UK is becoming more scarce, I have developed a selection of plans to ensure that you never run out of petrol or diesel in the next few weeks.

1. Buy a big army petrol can, park close to the station, walk up to the pumps and simply fill up, thus pushing in the queue.

2. Dig a tunnel below the station directly into the tank and shyphen off enough for your regular use

3. Convert your car to run off coke. It has enough gas in it already.

4. Buy a 'Fred Flintstone' car

5. Diesel owners: Use industrial diesel from any cash strapped local farmer.

6. Move to France. Lets face it, they already beat their government and ours aint letting up.

Sufficed to say, if you can't tell, the cost of fuel in the UK is just downright pi**ing me off. I hate having to pay so much to drive home at 8pm at night when there aren't any buses. However, New Labour in the UK think I should be penalised for the poor public transport system they provide (which now in most cases is bloody private).

Oh well, better head off back to my picketing and see if I can't smash me banner over Tony Blairs noggin. That is if he still has the gall to come out into the public again.

//mr flump. [wormsmart@mrflump.com]